Mark Cunningham, Mike Doubet - Hypnotic Persuasion

(attend this seminar at Trucor.com)

Summary

Introduction

How to use hypnotic influence to persuade someone?

Figure out who do you have to be and how do you have to act in this interaction in order to get where you want and to be persuasive changing behaviors and beliefs on the fly, then you can act it out as if it were true. Amongst your tools are (covert) waking hypnotic / persuasive language techniques.

Manage state control throughout your influence process

When you are selling you must manage the state to control your perceptions. State control is the degree that you have control over your perceptual filters and your (physical & emotional) responses.

If you have problem maintaining the state control that you intended to have, relax and do the following. Say you are in State 1. Then a certain trigger changes you to State 2. Find the threshold condition where you notice the change from State 1 to State 2. Once identified, decide whether you want to make that move or not.

What if your natural state is relaxed and you noticed when that changed?

Selecting the proper clients to do business with

Give your clients a courtesy call where you audition them as your client. Set the proper frame right from the beginning. For example, exude business pheromones in a professional setting. Know that the sale is won in your preparation, not in mere execution!

Moving people from resource poor to resource rich

Whenever you meet someone, leave them better off than you found them. Change their state from resource poor (I.e. "Don’t hurt me!" and "Can I please have it?") to resource rich. Help them smile, laugh and enjoy life again. Guide them to feel confidence, control, power and passion. Know that most people will reciprocate eventually. In addition, manage yourself from resource poor to resource rich.

As your buyer is always more fearful of failure than desirous of success, also install a repulsion system that includes something negative that he/she can move away from.

How to set the right frame for learning?

A student sees himself below the teacher, while a participant sees himself as involved on the same level. In other words, if you define yourself as a student, then you cap your ability to be a participant.

Belief systems and frame control

Act as if it were true to get what you want. Belief systems exist only in certain context. There may be different rules in a different context. Use reframing to put one belief into a different context.

How to use a state break or pattern interrupt to influence your target?

Everything you say/do after a state break immediately slides in to the other person's mind, passing any filters and objections. Things after a pattern interrupt also go right in: That's right, that's good point, (pause)..." With a conventional approach you trigger the conditioned response from the other person. When you use a state break then you throw the other person off balance. You take the lead. The other person does not know what to do and 'freezes' for a few moments. After that he/she will fall back to a previously rehearsed state. But never break state when you are in a state that works!

An example of a successful state break is the hand shake interrupt, where you grab the hand to shake with suddenly with your other hand. An example of the worst state breaker is a ringing phone (because you have little control over it). State breaks can also be used as opening sentences. For example, when you first encounter a certain woman and you pick up her vibe, you say all of a sudden: "You are wild."

A very great state break occurs when you break a taboo. Breaking a taboo wakes you up. The greatest taboo is being open to who you truly are and exposing who you truly are. It is common that you generate noise and distractions to avoid being who you are. Instead, accept who you are.

Why and how to discover your client's buying process?

Ask yourself what is his/her buying process and what automatic responses does he/she have? How do people make (buying) decisions? Most people buy for emotional reasons, not for logical reasons. Most people don't know why they do what they do – and why they buy what they buy.

Get inside the person. What does the person think and feel? What are they thinking? How do they decide? What desire they want to be fulfilled? Then, step into their (already familiar) processes.

"People don't want to be sold to. However, people buy."

How to use anchors to control another person's state

An anchor is an association to an emotional state or believe behavior (either for a negative experience or a positive experience). Firing off the anchor brings person in state associated with the experience. Find his/her perceptual filters and anchor the ones you need. With anchors you can install escape triggers. Escape triggers allow you to change subject abruptly in order to get person in the state that you want him/her in. Self-anchors can go to your hand, your clothing, the different sides around you, etc.

The 'Big Six' to Hypnotic Influence

Look for openings and ways to manipulate people. Then follow the six steps in hypnotic persuasion:

  1. Gain comfort / establish rapport
  2. Acquiescence (lock-in) / saying yes and following along
  3. Hallucination / somnambulism
  4. Emotional connection
  5. Change reference system / multiple representational systems
  6. Self affirmation / make it their own idea

After these steps all you have to do is to display your product or service. You become the doorway - or the key if you prefer – for them getting more of what they want.

Step 1: Gain Comfort

The purpose in the first phase is to build a steady ground to work from and to collect information you'll need for the proper execution of the remaining steps.

Matching can be achieved by sameness & mirroring, or by being so overwhelming - the desert tray. Rapport is "sameness" that exists or your client desires it to exist. How you get in rapport doesn't matter, but you can't have rapport if you are tense – you can't start in tension. When you release tension, your perceptual ability goes up.

The first step in establishing rapport is intention. It is critical to have a strong intention. Keep your intention in the back of your mind at all times and remain congruent with your intention. Keep the outcome in mind and skip the stuff you don't need if you are already there. Use just one notch of intensity higher than your client is. Stay one notch above your clients' level.

Pay close attention to the person you are interacting with. He/she gives you all the signs to sell him/her something exactly the way he/she wants it most. Shut up and allow the person to speak. Now give the person back what he or she is really sending out. Mirror his/her language back. Meanwhile, set yourself in the positive filter. Tell stories to elicit commonality and that go from resource poor to resource rich. Physical relationships (mirroring, matching), and vocal tonality are critical when establishing rapport. So pay attention to these things and focus your attention on what you want more of.

By repeatedly gaining comfort and then withholding energy to maintain comfort for a short moment you deepen it much faster. Because if you break rapport, they will try to re-establish rapport (if you have acquiescence). Push-pull dynamics come into play.

It is no problem if subject is feeling uncomfortable, as long as you keep comfort with them. When they are uncomfortable, state the response and ask "What do you want?" A common enemy helps with rapport, even though it can make the other person feel uncomfortable to think about that enemy. The only danger in rapport is that you are feeling good about your client and you can get lost in where he/she is right now.

Power flows when you are relaxed. You can skip pacing and start leading immediately. Once you start leading, there is only lead, lead, and lead. Lead with something of value. Remain relaxed and confident at all times. Turn your thermostat up or down to match what you want to present.

Questions to ask:

Sidenote: If you oppose the energy of a space or environment, the space or environment wins. You likely get ground down when your belief systems do not match "the herd". So if you can't change the environment, then accept it and move on. Take into account the first impression that you make to the group. You have 4 seconds to make an impression and gain rapport. Adapt to the setting, because people like people that are (in some way) like themselves. What are these people most attuned to?

Step 2: Acquiescence

Hints on gaining acquiescence.

Go from broad suggestions to detailed suggestions. Start with broad statements and then narrow it down.

However, don't get to specific before your client is locked in to prevent objections from popping up. Start non-specific and go to specific – it's like dancing with a partner. It is like ballroom dancing – smooth, in control, leading, and being aware.

Questions to ask:

Get client on a 'yes' ladder.

Mimic body language from person that involves an agreement.

When your client tries to get back in rapport with you, then you have acquiescence. Also when your client follows you along, then you have established acquiescence.

When someone points out his/her objections to you, he/she is showing his/her vulnerabilities. In other words, you turn obstacles into possibilities. When in acquiescence, for a client to reject your content, they have to reject the rapport with you.

Step 3: Hallucination

Have the person hallucinate something (effectively, go into trance). A great tool to use is called time distortion. You switch back and forth between present, future and past. You have them recall many experiences that you can then anchor and use to influence them.

Take into account your left/right hand gestures, some people may keep their past & future in different places. Most persons image a time line going from their left to right (rough estimate 90%). In 10% of the cases it's back to front. The now or present is right in front of them; the problem that they currently have is in front of them.

Dealing with a client that typically requires you to come back multiple times before you can start doing business. So talk about coming back multiple times sharing information, building trust, all in one meeting. Also use gestures to bring the future in the present on their time line. Then say: "Having done all that... now... do you feel we can do business?"

How do you know what the person is thinking and hallucinating? You don't - unless you ask.

Questions to ask:

Step 4: Emotional Connection

As you explore the emotional connection, you install anchors (both positive and negative) that you may use later on to get the person more easily comply with your demands. What question can you ask to elicit the emotional / unconscious response?

Be sure to dive deep enough so you really get down to the core feeling or issue:

You can sell anything to anybody by getting the person into an emotional state and by being vague. When the person is in that emotional state, you link it to the product. Effectively, you set a positive filter (or a negative filter) on your product. For example: Find out about something that somebody likes (or cannot tolerate) and link it to somebody else. That way they will like (or dislike) that person.

When you open someone's emotions, then your doors for hypnotic persuasion opens. Throw the guy/gal off balance and fire in. You must find a strong emotion in order to be able to change belief. What typical emotions do you customers have? What question evokes a strong positive or negative emotion? Find words that have meaning.

Remember to give people compliments when they (unknowingly) comply with your plan.

Step 5: Change Reference System

Closing techniques: All you've got to do to sell a product/service is to display it in the final state. Give the person two or three options to choose from and shut up. It is preferred to offer one high end choice, one medium choice (the one you are most likely to sell) and one low end choice.

Magic phrases:

To master hypnotic influence you must practice often. You fall back on what you have rehearsed the most. Drill, drill, drill! Get what works and go beyond your old natural. Go into different cultural environments, explore your edge and expand your comfort zone everywhere (this is called stretching).

Step 6: Self Affirmation

It is a mistake to make a decision for someone else. Instead, have the person self-affirm the idea your planted into his mind.

TODO

Useful resources

(attend this seminar at Trucor.com)

Posted on 6th November 2010 by Quintus Hegie

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