Dale Carnegie - How To Stop Worrying & Start Living

Nine Suggestions On How To Get The Most Out Of This Book

1. Develop a deep, driving desire to master the principles of conquering worry.
2. Read each chapter twice before going on to the next one.
3. As you read, stop frequently to ask yourself how you can apply each suggestion.
4. Underscore each important idea.
5. Review this book each month.
6. Apply these principle at every opportunity. Use this volume as a working handbook to help you solve your daily problems.
7. Make a lively game out of your learning by offering some friend a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating one of these principles.
8. Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
9. Keep notes in the back of this book showing how and when you have applied these principles.

Part 1: Fundamental Facts You Should Know About Worry

• Rule 1: If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.
• Rule 2: The next time Trouble - with a Capital T - backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
  1. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?"
  2. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst - if necessary.
  3. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst - which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
• Rule 3: Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."

Live In "Day-Tight Compartments"

• "Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand."

• Happy the man, and happy he alone,
  He, who can call to-day his own:
  He who, secure within, can say:
  "To-morrow, do thy worst, for I have liv'd to-day."
  

  -- Horace
• Why not ask yourself these questions, and write down the answers?
  • Do I tend to put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some "magical rose garden over the horizon?"
  • Do I sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past - that are over and done with?
  • Do I get up in the morning determined to "Seize the day" - to get the utmost out of these twenty-four hours?
  • Can I get more out of life by "living in day-tight compartments?"
  • When shall I start to do this? Next week? ... Tomorrow? ... Today?

A Magic Formula For Solving Worry Situations

• Analyze the situation fearlessly and honestly and figure out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure.
• After figuring out what is the worst that could possibly happen, reconcile yourself to accepting it, if necessary.
• From that time on, calmly devote your time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which you had already accepted mentally.

What Worry May Do To You

• "Those who keep the peace of their inner selves in the midst of the tumult of the modern city are immune from nervous diseases."

Part 2: Basic Techniques In Analyzing Worry

• Rule 1: Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
• Rule 2: After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
• Rule 3: Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision - and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
• Rule 4: When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
  • What is the problem?
  • What is the cause of the problem?
  • What are all possible solutions?
  • What is the best solution?

How To Analyze & Solve Worry Problems

• Three basic steps of problem analysis:
  1. Get the facts.
  2. Analyze the facts.
  3. Arrive at a decision - and then act on that decision.
• "Confusion is the chief cause of worry."
• "If a man will devote his time to securing facts in an impartial, objective way, his worries will usually evaporate in the light of knowledge."
• Why not ask yourself these questions, and write down the answers?
  • What am I worrying about?
  • What can I do about it?
  • Here is what I am going to do about it.
  • When am I going to start doing it?

How To Eliminate 50% Of Your Business Worries

• What is the problem?
• What is the cause of the problem?
• What are all possible solutions of the problem?
• What solution do you suggest?

Part 3: How To Break The Worry Habit Before It Breaks You

• Rule 1: Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers."
• Rule 2: Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things - the mere termites of life - to ruin your happiness.
• Rule 3: Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
• Rule 4: Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
• Rule 5: Put a "stop-loss" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth - and refuse to give it anymore.
• Rule 6: Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.

How To Crowd Worry Out Of Your Mind

• "The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not."
• Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest he wither in despair.

Don't Let The Beetles Get You Down

• Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little."

A Law That Will Outlaw Many Of Your Worries

• "Let's examine the record." Let's ask ourselves: "What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?"

Co-operate With The Inevitable

• "Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune."

• For every ailment under the sun,
  There is a remedy, or there is none;
  If there be one, try to find it;
  If there be none, never mind it.
  

• God grant me the serenity
  To accept the things I cannot change,
  The courage to change the things I can;
  And the wisdom to know the difference.
  

• Co-operate with the inevitable.

Put A "Stop-Loss" Order On Your Worries

• Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bas in terms of human living, let's stop and ask ourselves these three questions:
  1. How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?
  2. At what point shall I set a "stop-loss" order on this worry - and forget it?
  3. Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? Have I already paid more than it is worth?

Don't Try To Saw Sawdust

• The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
  Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
  Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
  Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.
  

• Don't try to saw sawdust.

Part 4: Seven Ways To Cultivate A Mental Attitude That Will Bring You Peace & Happiness

• Rule 1: Let's fill our minds with thought of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."
• Rule 2: Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
• Rule 3:
  • Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed 10 lepers in one day - and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
  • Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is to not expect gratitude - but to give for they joy of giving.
  • Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
• Rule 4: Count your blessing - not your troubles!
• Rule 5: Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
• Rule 6: When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
• Rule 7: Let's forget our own unhappiness - by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."

Eight Words That Can Transform Your Life

• "Our life is what our thoughts make it."

• The mind is its own place, and in itself
  Can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven
  

• "Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. Thus the sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if your cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there."
• "Much of what we call Evil... can often be converted into a bracing and tonic good by simple change of the sufferer's inner attitude from one of fear to one of fight."
• Just for today
  • Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that "most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.
  • Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
  • Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it nor neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.
  • Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loader. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
  • Just for today I will exercise my soul in 3 ways; I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least 2 things I don't want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.
  • Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
  • Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for 12 hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.
  • Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate 2 pests, hurrying and indecision.
  • Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. In this half-hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.
  • Just for today I will be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.
• Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

The High Cost Of Getting Even

• We may not be saintly enough to love our enemies, but, for the sake of our own health and happiness, let's at least forgive them and forget them.

• Sticks and stones may break my bones,
  But words can never hurt me.
  

• You are too busy with your cause, too absorbed in something bigger than yourself. You have no time to quarrel, no time for regrets, and no man can force you to stoop low enough to hate him.
• Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.

If You Do This, You Will Never Worry About Ingratitude

• It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches. If we want to find happiness, let's stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving.
• • Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed 10 lepers in one day - and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
  • Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.
  • Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.

Would You Take A Million Dollars For What You Have?

• I had the blues because I had no shoes,
  Until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.
  

• Count your blessings - not your troubles!

Find Yourself & Be Yourself: Remember There Is No One Else On Earth Like You

• No matter what happens, always be yourself!
• Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves.

If You Have A Lemon, Make A Lemonade

• Two men looked out from prison bars,
  One saw the mud, the other saw the stars.
  

• The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.
• When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade.

How To Cure Depression In 14 Days

• "You can be cured in 14 days if you follow this prescription. Try to think every day how you can please some one."
• Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Every day do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone's face.

Part 5: The Perfect Way To Conquer Worry

How My Mother & Father Conquered Worry

• The wrong kind of fear is a sin.
• "Faith is one of the forces by which men live and the total absence of it means collapse."
• Prayer fulfills three basic psychological needs which all people share:
  1. Prayer helps us to put into words exactly what is troubling us.
  2. Prayer gives us a sense of sharing our burdens, of not being alone.
  3. Prayer puts into force an active principle of doing. It's a first step toward action.

Part 6: How To Keep From Worrying About Criticism

• Rule 1: Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
• Rule 2: Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
• Rule 3: Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.

Remember That No One Ever Kicks A Dead Dog

• Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.

Do This - And Criticism Can't Hurt You

• Ignore only unjust criticism. "Just laugh."
• Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.

Fool Things I Have Done

• Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.

Part 7: Six Ways To Prevent Fatigue & Worry & Keep Your Energy & Spirits High

• Rule 1: Rest before you get tired.
• Rule 2: Learn to relax at your work.
• Rule 3: Learn to relax at home.
• Rule 4: Apply these four good working habits:
  1. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
  2. Do things in the order of their importance.
  3. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you the facts necessary to make a decision.
  4. Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
• Rule 5: To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
• Rule 6: Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage - not the insomnia.

How To Add 1 Hour A Day To Your Waking Life

• You cannot continue to worry if you relax.
• "Rest is repair."
• Do what the Army does - take frequent rests. Do what your heart does - rest before you get tired, and you will add 1 hour to your waking life.

What Makes You Tired - And What You Can Do About It

• Learn to relax while you are doing your work! Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. And bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. Begin to relax with your muscles!
• Relaxation is the absence of all tension and effort.
• Here are four ways that will help you learn to relax:
  • Relax in odd moments.
  • Work as much as possible, in a comfortable position.
  • Check yourself 4 or 5 times a day, and say to yourself: "Am I making my work harder than it actually is? Am I using muscles that have nothing to do with the work I am doing?"
  • Test yourself again at the end of the day, by asking yourself: "Just how tired am I? If I am tired, it is not because of the mental work I have done but because of the way I have done it."

How To Avoid Fatigue - And Keep Looking Young!

• Talking things out.
• Here are some other ideas - things you can do in your home:
  • Keep a notebook or scrapbook for "inspirational" reading.
  • Don't dwell too long on the shortcomings of others!
  • Get interested in people!
  • Make up a schedule for tomorrow's work before you go to bed tonight.
  • Finally - avoid tension and fatigue. Relax! Relax!
• Here are some exercises you can do:
  • Lie flat on the floor whenever you feel tired. Stretch as tall as you can. Roll around if you want to. Do it twice a day.
  • Close your eyes. You might try saying, as Professor Johnson recommended, something like this: "The sun is shining overhead. The sky is blue and sparkling. Nature is calm and in control of the world - and I, as nature's child, am in tune with the Universe." Or - better still - pray!
  • If you cannot lie down, because you can't spare the time, then you can achieve almost the same effect sitting down in a chair. A hard, upright chair is the best for relaxing. Sit upright in the chair like a seated Egyptian statue, and let your hands rest, palms down, on the tops of your thighs.
  • Now, slowly tense the toes - then let them relax. Tense the muscles in your legs - and let them relax. Do this slowly upward, with all the muscles of your body, until you get to the neck. Then let your head roll around heavily, as though it were a football. Keep saying to your muscles (as in the previous chapter) "Let go... let go..."
  • Quiet your nerves with slow, steady breathing. Breathe from deep down. The yogis of India were right: rhythmical breathing is one of the best methods ever discovered for soothing the nerves.
  • Think of the wrinkles and frowns in your face, and smooth them all out. Loosen up the worry-creases you feel between your browns, and at the sides of your mouth. Do this twice a day, and maybe you won't have to go to a health club to get a massage. Maybe the lines will disappear from the inside out!

Four Good Working Habits That Will Help Prevent Fatigue & Worry

• Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
• Do things in the order of their importance.
• When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don't keep putting off decisions.
• Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.

How To Banish The Boredom That Produces Fatigue, Worry, And Resentment

• Act "as if" you are interested.
• "Why not put a lot of zest and enthusiasm into it?"

How To Keep From Worrying About Insomnia

• If you can't sleep, do what Samuel Untermyer did. Get up and work or read until you do feel sleepy.
• Remember that no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. Worrying about insomnia usually causes far more damage than sleeplessness.
• Try prayer - or repeat Psalm XXIII, as Jeanette MacDonald did.
• Relax your body.
• Exercise. Get yourself so physically tired you can't stay awake.

Part 8: "How I Conquered Worry"

• Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Ask yourself: How do I know this thing I am worrying about will really come to pass?
• Here is a method that deserves a whole chapter. Read history! Try to get the viewpoint of 10,000 years - and see how trivial your troubles are, in terms of eternity!
• When the fierce, burning winds blow over our lives - and we cannot prevent them - let us, too, accept the inevitable (see Part 3, Chapter 9). And then get busy and pick up the pieces!
• Here are the five ways in which Professor Phelps banished worry:
  1. Live with gusto and enthusiasm.
  2. Read an interesting book.
  3. Play games.
  4. Relax while you work.
  5. Try to see your problems in their proper perspective.
• Dorothy Dix conquered worry by living in "day-tight compartments."
• J.C. Penney learned to overcome worry almost instantaneously, because he discovered the one perfect cure.
• Jim Birdsall learned to stop worrying because he analyzed his troubles. In fact, he used the very principles described in the chapter "How To Analyze & Solve Worry Problems."
• The point of this is: Don't take yourself too seriously. Try just laughing at some of your sillier worries, and see if you can't laugh them out of existence.
• What's the principle here? Don't try to saw sawdust! Accept the inevitable! If you can't go lower, you can try going up.
• The Missouri music teacher applied 2 principles described in this book: she kept too busy to worry, and she counted her blessings. The same technique may be helpful to you.
• The moral of this story is that many a man who is now taking pills would do better to read Part 7, and relax!
• Do you remember a statement quoted earlier in this book? "The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes the strongest falter"... Why even try it?
• Remember what George Bernard Shaw said? "The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not." Keep active, keep busy!
• Time solves a lot of things. Time may also solve what you are worrying about today.
• Mr. Ryan is alive today because he made use of the principle described in the Magic Formula - face the worst that can happen.
• Ordway Tead is a master of the 4 Good Working Habits. Do you remember what they are? (see Part 7, Chapter 26).
• Connie Mack never read a book on How To Stop Worrying so he made out his own rules. Why don't you make a list of the rules you have found helpful in the past - and write them out?
• Three rules the doctors gave Rockefeller:
  1. Avoid worry. Never worry about anything, under any kind of circumstances.
  2. Relax, and take plenty of mild exercise in the open air.
  3. Watch your diet. Always stop eating while you're still a little hungry.

Posted on 11th September 2007 by Quintus Hegie

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